The problem with men

Women’s problems in dating men generally fall into one of these categories.

  • Is he good enough for me?
  • Am I attracted to him?
  • Is he really interested in me?
  • Will he commit to me?

Is he good enough

All self respecting women have standards. For a woman to be interested in a man, he must have something going for him… be it looks, position, status, success, confidence, social standing, charisma, charm etc. Some personal quality that distinguishes him from other men. Something that makes him stand out in her eyes and preferably in the eyes of others too.

If the man is not up to standard, the woman will not be interested right from the start.

One problem can be that the man mis-represents himself… she finds out later that he is not what he seemed… he exaggerated his status, position or wealth. No-one likes liars, cheats and manipulators.

A man must have real value… he must be worthy of you. 

Feeling attracted to him

A woman needs to feel something for a man. It’s a feeling, an emotion. Call it attraction, call it chemistry… whatever, she needs to feel it!

A problem can occur if she gets involved with a man that she is comfortable with but has low attraction to (based on familiarity, shared experiences, or that he looks good “on paper”). Later, if she meets a man that she feels highly attracted to, suddenly “on paper guy” doesn’t look so good.

A woman must feel strong attraction to the man she is with.

Is he interested?

Obviously, he must reciprocate her feelings. He must be interested and he must be available. However, a man’s interest can increase particularly if a woman indicates her sexual availability.

Take care though. Having to resort to sex to keep a man’s interest may indicate that the man is out of your league to begin with. If so, you would have difficulty keeping him and progressing the relationship.

A man must be enthusiastic about you and genuinely regard you as “special”.

Will he commit

This is the crunch. If he is desired by you, and you have high standards, chances are he is desired by many other women too. Are you special enough to him that he is only interested in you?

Unfortunately, the more selective you are, and the higher you aim, the more choices and options he will have. This will make him less likely to commit to anyone, let alone you.

Are you special and unique to him… the one who stands out from the rest? If so, he will want to commit to you.

All of these conditions must exist for the relationship to be on a good footing right from the start. But it’s very hard to work out, especially at the beginning of a relationship. And that’s precisely why I made rateHim Plus.

Are you hoping for the best while spending a year or two (or three) in relationship that may end up going nowhere? Who wants that!

You want the best man and you want him to commit. Unfortunately the two are mutually exclusive. You can’t have both. The best man you can attract is unlikely to want to commit to you. I’m sorry, but that’s just how things work.

What use is the best man if he won’t commit, and commitment is pointless if you are just not so excited about him. Wasting time with someone who may never commit is bad enough but settling for less than you deserve is even worse. There must be some way to find that sweet spot in the middle… a great guy who will commit.

There is and you can find him.


rateHim Plus – Helps you find the sweet spot… the best man who will commit. Forget the pain and frustration of trial and error… rateHim Plus is a better way!


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