If you have read my last few posts you may have got the impression that I am just going around in circles and never getting to the point. Perhaps you are wondering if there is actually a point.
There is a point and I am getting right to it in this post.
The problem of a man being reluctant or unwilling to commit has it’s roots right at the beginning of the relationship… when you choose a partner. If you choose the best available man who is interested and wants to have sex with you, it almost guarantees that he will be reluctant to commit down the road. For best results, his interest in a committed relationship with you should be equal to your interest in him. In other words, he must value you as much as you value him.
This is part 9 of a series on dating and partner selection (mainly from a woman’s perspective but could also be of interest to men). It will make more sense if you read the series in order. The previous posts are –
1. What do you bring to a relationship?
3. What makes a man attractive?
6. The best man or the best man for you?
7. How to choose the best man for you
8. Assessing his commitment potential
The concept of matching value sounds simple and obvious and yet it is rarely put into practice. One reason is that it is hard to quantify. There are so many factors that go into one person’s assessment of another, male and female look for different things in a partner, and then there is the issue of what we think we want (intellect), what we feel (emotions) and our more basic animal nature (instinct).
And yet we know what we feel. When we meet someone and get to know them, there is a conscious and unconscious process that happens whereby we categorise their value to us… and that determines the dynamics of any subsequent relationship that develops.
How could this be used in practice?
- You meet a man you are interested in.
- He seems interested in you.
- You want to know if you are the kind of woman that he might want to commit to down the road. (Notice I did’t say the kind of man who would commit to you. Most men want to commit when they meet the right woman).
Well just imagine someone had created a model of the male brain. In terms of dating, attraction and relationships it reacts just like a real man would. That could be useful. You could just insert yourself into this male brain and see how it reacts to you. Is it willing to commit to you? Wow! That would save a lot of time and uncertainty!
It sounds fanciful and yet it’s not. There is an app for that!
It’s the result of years of research and real world practical experience. It’s based on real psychological principles of human nature and whilst it’s not always 100% accurate in every single case, for every single person, every single relationship, it can give you some very useful guidance.
If you are not sure about the future of your relationship, or you’re simply not sure if you should get involved in the first place, I suggest you to take a very close look at this.
The biggest single time waster for a woman is to enter into a long term relationship with a man who is unlikely to ever commit to her. Rate his commitment potential right from the start with this app. As unbelievable as it may sound, it does actually work!
Wouldn’t you like to know if he was likely to commit right up front, rather than wasting months or years of your life finding out the hard way?
lifePsyc 